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And…

It’s Hillary … no duh.

Let the spin begin.

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Polls are closed!

Now it’s time to watch all of my amazing videos!

Philadelphia Weekly!

Primary Day!

Out in the field, and by the field I mean the streets of Philadelphia. This morning I had polling problems out in West Philly — a machine was down, and the people in line were starting to get pretty angry (there was some talk of sabotage, but I think it was probably just that the folks out there weren’t entirely sure how to work the machine). 

More Hillary supporters than you’d think are out, and since it’s the first nice voting day for an important election in like a billion years, I’d guess we’re going to have pretty high turnout. A Society Hill polling official thinks they’re on track for 70%. 

Everyone Wants Single Women

Single women are the hot political item. According to CNN:

Political experts say if they continue to mobilize, these women could have a big influence on the election of the next president. Already this year, the presence of unmarried women at primaries has reached historic levels.

Next thing you know, single women will be drinking, smoking and cussing. What is the world coming to?

The Ron Paul Plan

No, they still haven’t given up … and they expect to win. The new strategy? Elect Ron Paul-friendly delegates:

Delegates from Pennsylvania are not pledged to a Presidential candidate. They are allowed to vote for whomever they want – and you will be electing them. Each Ron Paul supporter will be notified of the names and ballot positions of our candidates in your Congresional [sic] Districts soon.

Let’s speculate for just a second, shall we? Republicans across the state aren’t going to turn out unless they have an exciting primary. Hell, half of ’em have registered Democrat just to have someone to vote for tomorrow. What if—I think maybe there’s something in the water—only the Ron Paul supporters came out. And what if—no, seriously folks—what if they did elect only Ron Paul-supporting delegates. Seriously. ‘Cause like, this is the first large state full of crazies where there was no reason for a regular Republican to vote. And what if they won Pennsylvania?

According to Hillary its all you need to become president.

Oh god the Paultards are geniuses.

via PhillyBlog

Own a Little Piece of McCain

John “Walnuts!” McCain’s online store is finally open! Now you can get your nautical pin, your “Women for McCain” cup, your state-shaped lapel pins (point out Beaver and Intercourse to all your out-of-state friends, geography buffs!), your weather-inappropriate  ice scraper or a button showing just how old McCain really is (look! the first picture is a tintype!).

While your at it, pick me up a copy of the smash hit Faith of My Fathers … only $50!

All proceeds go toward building the American-made robotic parts that keep John McCain alive.

No Obama, No Lou Reed

Code for No Fun. They won’t be at the rumored Media Bureau party.